The House of Prada

Hi all. A brief update, and then on with the show. Time Warner Cable came back again to figure out what is going with my internet and dvr. This guy at least was honest and said he had no clue, but that if I wanted it solved the best thing to do would be to request a “re-run.” I had visions of a fat guy in orange pants jumping up and down waving his hands, but it turns out a “re-rerun” is when they take all the cable out of your apartment and put new cable in. Surprisingly, re-runs aren’t free. So now I have to decide if I want to spend the $30 for something that even the technician said would have a 50/50 chance of working, or suck it up. Given the history in my little apartment so far, I don’t think I’m willing to take the odds. Oh speaking of odds, start kissing up to me now because I’m winning the lottery tomorrow. Which is a good thing because now that it’s chilly the curry factory has gone into overdrive.

SO. Where was I when I left off? Ah yes; Verizon Wireless, Xbox, Prada and George Foreman. Now before you sigh and say “Shawn, what could these seemingly unrelated items possibly have in common with each other,” (and shame on you for using such a stilted question), I’ll tell you. For the most part I’ve moved on, but in order for you to get the complete picture of the last 8 months of my life I feel I must share. I see you shiver with antici…pation.

I’ll start with the biggie. Prada. For those of you who don’t know, The House of Prada is a clothing and accessories line that was founded in 1913 by Mario Prada in (where else) Italy. Mario was mostly famous for his leather luggage, but the company never really took off. In 1978 Miuccia Prada, Mario’s grand-daughter, took over the design elements of the company and her husband, Patrizio (I love that name) took over the business side. They introduced the Prada Bag, a series of streamlined black purses made of Pocone, a waterproof nylon, and New York exploded. Even the most influential people were put on a year-long waiting list to buy a $600 purse. Now, Prada is recognized worldwide for its simple and elegant creations.

When I whine about credit card debt, please remind me that Miuccia is responsible for a nice chunk of that. Their shoes are… expensive. Anyway, last year for Christmas Hal got it right and got me a rather large gift card for Prada. He had such a knack for getting bad gifts that it had become a joke between us, so I welcomed this stroke of genius wholeheartedly. Shortly after Christmas (ok, the day after) I hightailed it to the Prada 5th Avenue store. I could have gone to the flagship store in Soho, pictured below, but I find the crowds there to be a little too “sceney” for me. (Must be the fitting room doors that frost and defrost at the touch of a button.)















The people at the 5th Avenue location are much more civilized when dropping ridiculous bank. Anyway, I found what I like to call The Perfect Pair Of Sunglasses (henceforth referred to as PPOS). You can see the PPOS in the photo in my profile, and as you can tell they looked, well, perfect.

After buying the PPOS I had a little left over so I was able to pick up the Coolest Keychain Ever (CKE). A part of me does shudder at the fact that I spent $125 (well, Hal did) on this little symbol of style, but I kid you not when I say it was designed by Miuccia for me alone. The CKE was a sterling silver rectangle bar with Prada inscribed on it. Attached at either side of the rectangle were two keyrings. The simplicity of it was stunning, but when I saw that you could detach the rings and have a “going out” set of keys and a “full set” of keys I was hooked.

Flash forward to about four months ago. It was the hottest day of the year here in balmy New York. In fact, we broke a heat record that day. 103 I think. Oh yeah, and a lot of humidity. On my lunch break I had to run a quick errand to get my brother Derek a birthday card. I will forever associate his birthday with my tragic loss. While paying for the card, I put my sunglasses down on the counter for a second… a split second... to get my wallet out of my non-Prada bag, and the PPOS were gone. Faster than you could blink. Even the cashier was amazed at how fast the woman next to me had grabbed them and took off. As it was so hot I was a bit sluggish and my normal reaction time was off, or else I would have been out the door and after her. But sadly, I honestly didn’t notice until she was long gone.

I was horrified. Not only were the PPOS gone, which is bad enough, but I’d have to walk around all day sans sunglasses. In New York sunglasses are not only practical, they are a necessity; they’re the best way to maintain that veneer of cool indifference required of all New Yorkers. Nothing says “I really love you darling, but you bore me” better than talking to them with sunglasses on. The only time I ever walk around without sunnies is when I’m leaving a club after daybreak. So they were gone; it was a $175 birthday card for Derek this year. At least I still had my CKE.

About three days later I woke up incredibly late for work. We open at 10, but my boss thinks (and I agree) that it’s better to get there at 9:30 and map out the day. But I woke up at 9:45. Shouting the typical expletives associated with running this late, I sprang to action and was out the door. I got all the way to the subway when I realized I didn’t have my wallet (also Prada!). I turned around and went back home, pulled the CKE out of my bag and noticed something… different. It registered slightly, but I ran upstairs, opened my apartment, grabbed my wallet and hightailed it to the train.

While on the train, I pulled out CKE to find out what was causing this unsettled feeling I had. To my utter dismay, one of the rings was missing. I was fairly convinced that it had just fallen off somewhere at home, so when I left work that day I was optimistic about my chances of finding it and returning it to its proper groove. Optimism is for suckers I say. That ring is long gone, and the whole point of the CKE – to have a bar with two separate rings that pop on and off – is moot. I now have a bar and a ring that hook up. Ooooh.

In case you’re wondering, these are not items I can run over to Prada and replace easily. Obviously the cost is prohibitive, and they’re last season anyway so they’re no longer being made. I thank you in advance for the tears you shed for my PPOS and CKE. At least I still have my wallet. Jesus, knock on some wood.

Well this turned out to be a long entry. See how I share?

Up next, Verizon Wireless. “We never stop working for you-oooh hoo hee hee ha ha.”